And here we are, spinning

I stopped blogging long ago and for various reasons. It is time to begin again.

Here's the brief overview: I spent years in graduate school only to see my entire academic career collapse over the course of a few weeks because of a mix of factors: poverty, a collapse of will, indifference among those who could have helped and, most importantly, a virus that left me incapacitated for over a month. I thought I was going to die and made plans to commit suicide so that my family wouldn't have to pay for hospital expenses.

Since then, I've worked odd jobs: a gig at a mental institution that drove me to a panic attack, a college writing instruction position that didn't pay enough, and, most importantly, a job at a warehouse where I divide my time between restocking shelves and making small deliveries.

I also teach martial arts at night. It doesn't pay well. I guess you could call it a passion of mine, and it is, but right now I'm at the point where my passion is dimmed by increasing debt and financial problems.

I live with my girlfriend, whom I love, and her eleven year old son, along with a neurotic chihuahua and two kittens.

My dream used to be to be a writer. It is yet another failed venture among many.

Enjoying the lists? Let's see. Well, academia, obviously. Writer. That's been said. Martial arts teacher. For reasons I may or may not get into. What else? I was a musician for years before finally giving up on that, too. It is not an exercise in self-pity to say that I'm a case study in failure. I would even say bad luck, although that doesn't cut it, since I manage to have a good time and have managed to surround myself with good friends. If anything, I consider myself lucky despite the trajectory of failure and decline.

Another list. I write for various reasons. One is to help myself understand. I also enjoy writing as a form of revenge. I like to air grievances. I like to talk about what I'm not supposed to. At this point, I've been silent for a long time, and there's a lot to say, so keep reading and hang on. Dig?